


And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat

by TheBrideOfTheWind



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentioned suicide, Minor Character Death, Mostly Canon Compliant, Murphamy Week, Supernatural Elements, the death is only at the very end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-17 01:55:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16507097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBrideOfTheWind/pseuds/TheBrideOfTheWind
Summary: His eyes find the man looming in the shadows of the room, recognising him immediately. The same dark hair framing his pale face, the same big, crooked nose and the same eyes, sincere and of a colour so piercingly blue it gives him a look of otherworldliness, as if he doesn't actually belong there.Or Bellamy is the only living human being able to see the Grim Reaper, and through the years he grows fond of death himself.The title is from the song “Cosmic Love” by Florence + the Machine.





	And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for being late, but it's me again with this for murphamy week "supernatural or paranormal".

Bellamy is barely three years old when he sees him for the first time. His father is sick, bedridden, and they can't afford the necessary medicine to cure his cough. 

When he comes to his bed to kiss him goodnight one evening, a man is sitting next to his father, watching him sleep. He only sees the side of his face, but even then, he can tell that he looks different than any man he’s ever seen on the Ark before. 

In a fit of bravery, he stumbles forward to get a closer look, to ask him what he’s doing in their rooms at this time of the night, but as he reaches the side of the bed the man is gone. And as any child would, he forgets about him as his father wakes up and gets better day by day.

***

He still remembers the next time the man returns. He is five this time, holding his grandmother’s hand, thin like paper and cold as ice against his. Her eyes are closed as if she is sleeping and her chest is heaving slower and slower as it's getting harder and harder for her to breathe. She's not really old – at least not for usual standards – but on the Ark, there is no room for old people.

His eyes find the man looming in the shadows of the room, recognising him immediately. The same dark hair framing his pale face, the same big, crooked nose and the same eyes, sincere and of a colour so piercingly blue it gives him a look of otherworldliness, as if he doesn't actually belong there. 

It isn't the only unsettling thing about him, though. As he comes closer towards the two of them, Bellamy isn't sure what age he is anymore, and for a moment, he could swear his eyes were not blue anymore but gleaming grey in the half-light.

The man stops in front of the bed, hesitating as if he’s asking for permission before he stretches out his pale hands to touch the woman‘s cheeks gently.

She opens her eyes and looks back at him, a soft smile appearing on her dry lips. Heaving a sigh, she squeezes Bellamy's hand, then closes her eyes again. A moment later she stills.

The man looks at Bellamy and nods, and he nods back at him. And although he’s still a child, and although he probably should be afraid of this unknown, outlandish man appearing at his grandmother’s deathbed, he’s not.

“I know who you are,” he whispers, turning his head to face the man. But there's no sign of him, although the warmth of his body still lingers beside him.

***

His sister is born, and Bellamy grows older, his childish innocence replaced by the duty to take responsibility for his family. The population on the Ark is growing steadily, and so does the dissatisfaction of many of them. As time goes by, more and more people have to steal to survive, most of them getting convicted and floated, the man becoming a frequent visitor. 

Bellamy doesn't mind his skulking presence until the day his mother is standing in front of the metal doors facing her fate, his little sister already imprisoned in one of the sky cells. It’s his fault, he knows it, but when the metal doors click open, and he discover the familiar face at the back of the room, he can't control his repressed anger anymore.

The spectators make way for him as he pushes through the crowd with his shoulder ahead until he’s face to face with the man. He’s not thought this through, but again, his anger takes control.

“Fuck off,” he shouts, shoving the man's chest, and pushing him against the next wall. “Get the hell away, you're not welcome here!”

The man doesn't flinch, doesn't blink. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, soft as a wisp of wind. “I’m so sorry.”

Bellamy lets go of him instantly, almost ashamed. The room has gone silent, only a few people murmuring and pointing at him. The crowd is watching him with a bewildered expression on their faces until Commander Shumway takes him by his arm and pulls him to the side.

“I know how you must feel, but you're losing it, Blake.”

It’s only then he realises. “You don't see him?”

Shumway gives him a strange look. “I don't see anyone here but you and me.”

It’s been stupid of him to think anyone else would be able to see him, and there's only one way to convince Shumway of his last remaining bit of sanity, to make him believe that he’s not been completely unravelling since the night of the masquerade dance.

“I’m just taking the piss out of you,” he lies through his teeth, and Shumway reprimands his tone and choice of words with a click of his tongue.

“I don't like your jokes, Blake. But I might have got an offer for you. I’ll come around and talk to you someday.”

When Shumway leaves him, and he risks a glance behind, the wall is empty.

***

The next time he sees the man, Bellamy is holding a gun in his trembling hands, Thelonious Jaha bleeding out in front of him. 

Shumway finally made his offer, and he took the opportunity without giving it a second thought. He’s not proud of what he has done, but there's nothing he wouldn't do to make things right again.

“Not this one,” the man nods at Jaha’s motionless body, as the guards take Bellamy with them. “Not now.”

He might be lying to comfort him, and it’s not the time to waste much thought on his own fate. And if Jaha isn’t dead, it’s not much time for any other thought than him being reunited with his sister in a heartbeat, come hell or high water.

“What's your name,” Bellamy calls after the man, not afraid to be perceived as mad anymore. It feels as if he crossed that line a long time ago.

“I have many names,” he smirks and disappears without another word.

***

It doesn't take long for the man to reappear once they’re back on the ground. Bellamy catches a peek of him loitering around the camp a few hours before Trina and Pascal are found dead in the deep of the forest.

The little girl he befriends, Charlotte, tells him about her parents, sentenced to death by Wells Jaha’s father. She tells him that she can't look at his face without seeing her mother and father. She also tells him about the odd man she saw in the dark of the dropship once, who keeps following her around the camp.

“Slay your demons,” he advises her, thinking about her facing her fears as he has to do with his own. And he takes her little hand into his and assures her: “Just close your eyes and take my hand. He won't hurt you, I promise.”

When the wild mob chases the girl to the edge of the cliff after she confesses to killing one of their own, he’s there with Clarke, reaching out his hand out for Charlotte to take. He’s ready to go down with her, ready to protect her, if she only lets him. But instead of facing her demons, she takes the step, and the man leaps down with her into the abyss.

Bellamy falls to his knees, tearing at his hair frantically. “You demon, you harbinger of doom, you bringer of despair, don't you have a heart? Are you happy now? She’s just a child! She's just a child!” he cries into the darkness.

His common sense tells him, the man didn't do anything.

Still, the darkness doesn't object.

***

Over the months on the ground, he and the man meet many times. He’s there when Finn shoots the Grounders, cradling the lifeless body of a child in his arms. He’s there when Clarke stabs Finn, stroking the young man’s hair out of his face.

He is also there when Bellamy listens to his anger once again and follows Pike in the dead of night, slaughtering the sleeping Grounder army.

“What have you done?” Bellamy asks him, hands smeared with the blood of fathers, mothers, daughters and sons. “What have you done?”

The man shakes his head, his eyes dark as the night itself. A single tear rolls down his face, a face that looks old all of a sudden, old and tired.

“We just killed them before they had the chance to kill us,” Bellamy tries to justify himself, although their victory turns to ashes in his mouth.

“You humans are a peculiar species,” the man murmurs. “An animal follows its bloodlust and kills without remorse. You, on the other hand? Kill a hundred people and still blame others for your own mistakes.”

Bellamy is left speechless as the man leaves him behind to wander over the battlefield, releasing dying Grounders from their pain with a brush of his fingertips.

***

It takes some time before he sees him again, gasping for breath as he lies next to the rest of his group, having to watch them slowly running out of air while he struggles to connect the oxygen scrubber.

“Please,” he begs, “don’t let them pay for something I did.” 

The man shakes his head. “I don’t punish.” 

And then he pushes him towards the air vent and helps Echo pulling the helmet off his head.

Bellamy still feels dizzy, but as the oxygen fills his lungs again, and as he watches Emori and Raven laugh out in delight, Monty and Harper clinging to each other, he also feels incredibly thankful.

“Thank you,” he says, both to Echo and the man kneeling beside her. Echo smiles at him and the man nods before he vanishes again.

***

In space, the man never shows his face again, and Bellamy doesn't miss him, at least that's what he keeps telling himself. Yet, he hears him whispering in the ventilation system, catches a glimpse of his face in the reflection of a window from time to time.

He meets him soon enough on the ground, as he falls quickly into old patterns. The man sits next to Cooper as she writhes in pain, the worms forcing their way through her body. He glares at him and Clarke, nose wrinkled in disgust at this kind of cruelty, and Bellamy at least feels a hint of remorse.

He’s holding Octavia’s head as she struggles to breathe, murmuring soft words into her ear. And Bellamy's stomach twists with guilt, and something else, something warm and entirely out of place.

“She’s strong, you know. She will make it,” the man says, and Bellamy doesn't deserve his encouraging words, doesn’t know if he’s more relieved or more scared. He decides the relief overweighs, in the end, Octavia is his sister still.

When he’s fighting against Indra and Gaia, the man is standing between the spectators, eyes following each of his movements with anticipation. Bellamy is not sure if he wants him to die or to succeed, and maybe it’s a little bit of both. There’s no doubt in his mind that the man has seen his fair share of fights in this arena, and that the fights usually end in his favour. 

He loses his face in the crowd once Monty and Harper stop the fight and point them towards another possibility. And maybe it’s for the best, too. 

***

When he wakes up from cryosleep, he doesn't see the man, but he can feel his lingering presence in the emptiness of the room, finds him cornering on the side of Monty's video as if he's waiting for him. He is no lip-reader, but even he can decipher the words “they were happy” from his lips.

The new planet seems quiet and peaceful at first. No pain, no deaths, and Bellamy almost longs for the man's company. However, the people living on the planet show their true colours soon enough, and behind their pacific façade lurks a strict and violent nature that takes all of them by surprise.

Clarke's the first to be executed, her blood staining the white floor of the grand square in the middle of the city. The execution is quick and most likely painless, and with a stroke of her cheek, the man takes her with him.

Bellamy finds Octavia not long after, the man still holding her hand. “It was her choice,” he says, and he accepts it, nothing else remains to be done. In a way, it's what she has always wanted. Living and dying by her own terms. Freedom and independence, penance maybe. Nevertheless, it feels as if someone ripped out a part of him, like a wound that might never heal again.

Emori and Raven steal some fuel and try to leave the planet on a stolen ship. “Malfunction”, some say, “missiles”, others. He spares himself the details; it hurts enough. But at least they go out with a boom, like they always wanted.

After her experiences with Azgeda, Echo’s not keen on giving up her freedom and independence once more. Despite all of his efforts to convince her, he fails in stopping her from leaving. The guards capture them as they try to steal out of the city. She throws herself in front of him, and the man catches her in his arms before her body can hit the ground. 

There’s no more tear left to cry, only the silent conclusion that this must be how it all ends. He waits for the bullets, the short sting of pain before he’s finally released from his agony. But they never hit him, and with a sneer, the guards leave him be.

“Wait,” he says, his hand wrapping around the man's wrist to stop him from leaving as well. He gazes at him with a strange look on his face, his eyes flickering down to the place where Bellamy's fingers meet his pale skin.

“Why me?” Bellamy wants to know, pain and confusion clouding his voice. “Of all people, why me?”

The man stares at him for a long time, then shrugs his shoulders: “Maybe because you were never truly afraid of me.”

***

It’s lonely, quiet. He’s been alone before, by choice or against his will, but never like this. He finds himself sitting at one of the white, sandy beaches day after day, watching one sun set while the other rises, the planet never going completely dark. 

He misses the darkness, misses the safe secludedness of the Ring. The planet is beautiful, wide spaces and bright, vibrant colours, but he has no eyes for this kind of beauty.

He wakes up when something pokes him into his side, not surprised to discover it was the man who‘s now sitting down next to him, pulling his knees up to his chin. He looks younger than he remembers and almost content.

As he turns to look at him, his expression darkens, though. “For all I know, you humans have to eat and drink to stay alive,” he says lightly, eyes shimmering as blue as the water in front of them. The wind has blown a tangled lock into his face, and Bellamy has to fight the urge to touch it, to run his fingers through his long hair.

He can't help the small smile tugging on his lips. “What if I don't want to stay alive? What if I don't want to be alone anymore?”

For a moment, surprise is reflected on the man’s features, quickly changing to understanding.

“There’s only one way,” he says. When he bites his lips like this, he almost looks like a boy; he almost looks human.

“Okay,” Bellamy nods. “I’m ready.”

“You’re sure about that?"

“Till death do us apart, then?” Bellamy asks, and the man laughs, a sound youthful and old as time all at once. His eyes gleam golden as he smiles at him and holds out his hand. Bellamy takes it without hesitation, surprised by the warmth of his skin, the tight grip of his slender fingers entwined with his.

He feels a small, sharp tug at his chest and closes his eyes. When he opens them again, the beach is gone, and he is standing in a hall, the high walls reaching up into the sky endlessly. The man waits for him in front of an ebony, wooden door, one of its wings open, behind it only pitch blackness.

“Come,” he says, and Bellamy follows him into the dark.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thank you for reading this story! It's something else entirely, and I hope you liked it as much as I liked writing it.
> 
> You can find me on tumblr @thebrideofthewind.


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